This week!

This week was awesome! I did 3.25 miles on the tread mill then did weights and stretching. It was awesome though I have found that the first mile and a half are the hardest and that my knee starts hurting at about 2.75. My ankle starts hurting at 3 miles and breathing is the key to long distances! I lost 2 pounds this week. putting me with in 9 pounds of what I weighed when I got married! woot! Next week I'm doing the same thing and the week after is 3.5 miles unless I get bored or really good at the 3.25! lol like that would happen! I'm hoping to pick up some speed this week because I only have an hour and a half to work out so I only have so much time to do weights if I want to be able to stretch afterwards so I have to get faster or I will run out of time for weights too! But I burn about 450 calories just with the run so Im good! Till next week!

I hate skinny people!

I hate skinny people! OK so I dont really hate them I'm just so jealous! It is so not fair that there are some people that can eat whatever they want, only work out when they want, and have rock hard bodies. When I have to work my ass off everyday at the flippin gym, sometimes twice a day, to try to lose a pound a week. And some times I dont even get the one pound!!!!!

I was at the gym today and I have seen the same lady "working out" on the treadmill. she might weigh 10 pounds if that. And she is tiny tiny tiny. I asked her if she eats fast food, she does! How are some people so lucky?! And why is it that I have to work so hard? I love food, I love to eat food. Sure I like salad and fruits and veggies but I love to snack of food that is salty, sweet, bread, crunchy.... I like to snack on junk, I LOVE FRENCH FRIES! I have been torturing myself by not eating out almost at all in hopes that it would help, did it? NO! I have been stuck at the same weight for almost 2 weeks! The last time I hit this weight I got stuck here. I was running less and eating less healthy than I am now and I wasnt nursing (burns up to 500 calories a day) you would think this time would be different? All I know is that if I dont break past my wall this week Im going to Jack in the box. Super sizing my order, And having an extra large ice cream!

Why in the world do we have to be thin? Back in the day it was attractive to be fat and pale. Why did society have to decide that we should kill our selves to be thin? And why do we as women have to be so competitive with each other? That sucks!

Do skinny people worry about eating cheeseburgers? I have always been over weight so I wouldnt know what it would be like not to be in the situation where I can eat what I want when I want it! Do skinny people feel bad for fat people like it was a disability or something? Because if you think about it, obesity really is more like a disability than a symptom. And its fetal so it could be considered an optional fetal disease that is taking over the world?! Man if I were Josh I would run with this but since Im not I will let it die with the question.

I hope one day I can feel comfortable in my own skin, that I can be confident in my clothes and that I will one day be happy with they way I look. Chances are that will never happen because I am never happy with the way I look. And when I reach the goals I set Im content for about 2 weeks then Im back to the same old, I gotta be better thing!

6 weeks?! I think I'm losing track of time!

Ok. Well the last 2 weeks have been crap. The kids and I were sick for a little over a week, then, My family came in for a week. Yes I did go to the gym once and ran a 3k but still I didn't get to the gym as much as I probably should have. So its no surprise that I have stopped losing weight for 2 weeks. But I din't GAIN so I guess thats ok.

I did really well in the 5k I did it in 30 min and 3 seconds. I really wanted to finish under 30 min but I guess shaving 2 min off my old time was good enough. So we are off to a good start this week. I did 3.25 miles this morning and will do that much for this week and next well see what happens!

week 4?! well ish

This week is easy. I did 2.5 miles on Monday and Tuesday and have been to sick to work out the rest of the week so thats it! Im hoping next week ill be able to get back in to the groove though Ill still be a week behind. oh well better late than never ( who am I kidding I'd rather not show up if im going to be late!) Ill just have to work that much harder!

3 weeks down!

So this week was an awesome week! I worked really hard and it payed off! I lost 2 pounds! I only have 2 pounds of baby weight left! Unfortunately, I really wanted to have all of it off by my birthday but it looks like ill be just shy of that goal.

This week I did 2 miles. then weights then ran half a mile as fast as I could for a cool down. I ran on Mon. Wed. Thurs. and Friday. In addition to the running and weights on Thursday I also did a Zumba class! Those classes kick my butt! All in all it was a good week! As far as eating I did really well until sat. which was a really bad day. and I had fast food twice! still better than I do normally!

Next week is 2 and a half miles. I'm trying to decide if I want to go 5 days a week or if I should just do the 4 days but 5 times or if I want to do 5 days with only 1 work out each day with no zumba?! I don't know running on Friday is so much harder than the other days because my body is torn up from that class so I think my run would benefit but I guess I can try it this week and see if I like it?!

Also on an unrelated note. I have a possibility of 2 formal parties/ balls in a literal sense of the word and I have to make sure I can find a dress that I look FANTASTIC in and that I can wear with my body being so awkward. no pressure but plenty of motivation to keep going and to work that much harder every week!

My 19 week journey.

I have the opertunity to transform my body once again. I have 19 weeks.

The last time Josh left I lost 75 pounds! I was so excited and I had never felt better in my life! I started at 225 pounds and ended at 150. When I lost the weight it opened up an whole new world for me, I was able to do things I never thought I would be able to do. I ran 3 5k races and set my life long goal of one day running the Boston Marathon. So since I'm me I am never happy with the way I look, I have always had self esteem issues and I thought losing the weight before would help but it did for about 2 weeks! So now Im attempting to lose 20 pounds in almost 20 weeks and Im really hoping that I can not only lose the needed weight to be in the normal BMI range but also to get my self image under control. So I have gone through and did a week by week workout scheduel and now I get to do it and see what happens! The kicker here is that I'm still nursing my 5 month old so I cant really diet hard core I can only eat healthier food and make the gym do the rest!

So my plan is or has been to steadily increase my distance week by week. I have a 5k on St pattys day and Im working towards that one. Then I have a 4 mile run over the Coronado bridge in 11 weeks. Then teh next great thing is Josh coming home and doing the homecoming ball and maybe the Navy ball! Which I must look amazing for! So I have Things to work towards along the way to keep me motivated!

I go to the gym 4 days a week and on Thursdays I go twice! I run and lift weights most days but on Thursdays I also do Zumba for the extra calorie burn! I also have been cutting WAY down on my fast food intake I have only been out to eat 3 times in 2 weeks which is amazing for me since we used to go out 5 plus times a week! Im also trying to cook better food! But ya. So I figure Ill up date how im doing every week so I feel like I have someone I have to report to every week.

So this last 2 weeks I only lost 1 pound but its better than nothing! I feel like I live at that gym and I havent missed a day which is a great thing I suppose!

I did a lot of weight lifting that I normaly dont do and it was intense. I have also realized that I have no upper body strength left after this last kid! So im really working hard on my arms I went and bought some 8 pound weights. And I do sit ups at night and do the weights. So since Im a pound behind this next week I'm really hoping that I can make up for it. Though Ill admit that I am afraid to be too sore because I still have to be able to move enough to take care of my kids! So until next week......

Picture is my very first before picture. By my birthday next year if not sooner I want to be able to say that I lost 100 pounds!

Oh and Jess if your reading this Im going to need you to help me find a dress!

I love my husband!

I know it sounds cheesy but its true! I have the best husband ever!

No Josh didnt tell me to write this I am doing it because I have been reminded over and over again that I am truly blessed to have the most perfect husband for me!

I often find myself in awe and not the good kind when I see or hear about how different couples interact! I am a independent person. I am stubborn and dont baby people ( as much as I should). And since Im so "weird" I expect certain things from Josh that evidently other husbands just dont do, refuse to do or are not expected by their wives to do?! I dont wake up with him to make breakfast for him, hes a big boy! I dont dish up his plate, unless hes busy and then I do it but if he ever expected me to do it id drop something hot in his lap. He packs his own bags, hes not allowed to spend money with out telling me about it, and if I dont want to have sex he doesnt get any!

I know I know im a horrible person! But that works for our relationship!

Josh gets me! He understands that I am suborn, impatient, self conscious, and grumpy! He has no problem letting me control everything, he lets me be right, he absolutely adores everything about me( which is so weird) and he tells me that all the time. He is so patient. He is a FANTASTIC Dad. He helps me with the kids, sometimes more than I do, even after along day at work because he wants to help me. He has this amazing way of making me feel completely safe and secure when ever hes around. He can calm me down no matter how upset I am. He has the most calming voice and warm hands ( dont know why thats calming but it is) and he is a really good person. I dont know of many who dont like him because he tries so hard to get everyone to like him and to make sure he doesnt offend anyone!

I love Josh and I miss him so much. Home just isnt the same with out the whole family in the same state!